just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
