Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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