brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
