I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Actions speak louder than pants.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
