Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
