I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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