Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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