in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
