I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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