And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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