I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
