So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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