lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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