If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
