everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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