you would pick up someone in the library
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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