Are we in a gay sports bar?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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