my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
