I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
