I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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