im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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