I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
