Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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