I got her a Nickelback box set.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize