Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
