I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
