I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
