God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't turn off my feet"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
