before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
