Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
