Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize