Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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