I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
