that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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