There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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