so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
