Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
