Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
