Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
