Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
