Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize