he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
