uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
