i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
