worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
