I seem to have left my pride at pride
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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