Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
