Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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