My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
