I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
