i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
