I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
