it hurts more in the daytime
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
