My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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