and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
